'Twas the Night Before Surgery

     I've been a bit busy these past months...what with getting married and all.  Despite my best intentions, I have yet to get really consistent with blogging.  Since I'll be spending a the next few weeks in bed, with a lot of time on my hand, I am going to wholeheartedly renew my blogging efforts.  

     I spent all summer and early fall looking forward to my wedding, that I did not have much time to stress and worry about my ACL surgery.  But, the past 13 days since we returned from Fiji have completely flown.  And, tomorrow is the big day.  My part is easy; I just have to show up and go under anesthesia.  Yet, I am not looking forward to loosing use of my leg for a few months.  I'm really going to miss being able to walk, dance, and workout. All day, I made an effort to really appreciate walking, having full mobility, and (especially) carrying Brooklynn around.  I will be glad when it is all over and I have two good knees.  In the meantime, at least my inability to walk will give me plenty of time to blog.  

Kevin Arnold & Winnie Cooper

Just a little gem of adorableness from the Fourth of July picnic! 

"Maher's Don't Quit"

After my workout last night, my knee was a little sore.  I iced it before going to sleep and decided to heat it before future workouts.  I felt a little apprehensive about today's workout, but I pushed through.  With a little help from my new personal trainer and our new mantra, "Maher's don't quit," it went great!  

My personal trainer.

First Workout Post-Tear

Today I went for my MRI.  I was surprised to go in the full body machine; last time, I only had to put my leg in a tube.  All in all, it went well.  The clanking and buzzing was slightly obnoxious (of course the music that was supposed to be playing in my headphones did not work) and both my legs fell asleep, but I managed to keep still.  Next Thursday, I will follow up with Dr. Diana to get the results.  A small glimmer of hope still exists that this may not be my ACL, but I do not want allow myself high expectations that will only be disappointed. 

When I got back to my parents’ house, I embarked on my first workout post-tear.  Back in February, I began the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution, a 90-day workout program similar to P90X (though slightly less intense).  I did very well for the first six weeks, not missing a single workout; however, the second week of April, I derailed due to a combination of scuba lessons and my obsession with re-reading the A Song of Ice and Fire series (the onset of season 2 on HBO created far too much temptation).  Throughout May and the beginning of June, I exercised only sporadically, all the while with visions of my wedding dress and the October 20^th calendar box looming closer and closer in the back of my head.  Five days before my injury, I fully recommitted to the Body Revolution 90 day program, only to feel completely thrown off course yet again. 

After giving my knee a full week to rest and finding a pretty awesome OTC hinged brace, I began the program again.  It went really well!  I know my limitations; if my knee buckles, I set myself back another week.  I kept a soft bend in my knee at all times, put a major emphasis on supporting my legs from the hips (which have lost a ton of flexibility in recent years), and avoided turning out.  It was a really encouraging start!  I am going to take it one workout at a time and not push myself to the extreme.  Moreover, in order to make up for the physical limitations in my exercise regime, I am forced to put a greater emphasis on nutrition.  I need to keep focusing on the goal in sight…my wedding is just shy of 16 weeks away.  And, as an added bonus, if all goes as planned, I complete the last workout in the 90-day program on the day of my Bachelorette Party!

Engagement Photos

On June 3rd, Dan and I went to the Brooklyn Brewery for our Engagement Photo shoot with our spectacular photographer, Katie Osgood (check out her site: http://katieosgood.com/blog/).  Despite Dan's initial hesitations (which were quickly dismissed after a few beers), we had a really great time.  Our pictures arrived in the mail yesterday...here are a few of our favorites!

Seeing these pictures has us even more excited about our wedding!  We can't wait for October 20th to get here, at the same time, we are trying to savor every moment leading up to the day.  

Ice Pack Burn

This is why you never leave an ice pack directly on your skin for more than half and hour...

Now, not only do I have an internal injury, but my skin looks disgusting to match!

Déjà vu

     Today, for the second time in two years, I received devastating news from my orthopedic doctor:  I tore my ACL.  No, not the left knee, the one I had reconstructive surgery on two September’s ago, the “other knee.”  Sure, the tear has yet to be confirmed by MRI; all the same, deep down, I know it is torn.  I knew the moment it happened. 

Rewind to last Saturday…shortly after taking the stage to dance in my studio’s dress rehearsal (my 25^th dress rehearsal, to be exact), I did an inside fan-kick on my left leg and felt the “pop” in my right knee.  The pop was accompanied by a shooting pain, similar to the sensation of hitting a funny bone.  After uttering a few choice expletives, I walked off-stage and began to melt down.  I had just been through surgery and recovery on the other leg; I thought I was all fixed!  It felt so great, after three years, to be able to dance uninhibited by my knee injury; now, I would have to go through it all again.  Not to mention my upcoming wedding…not only have I been trying to get in shape, but hobbling down the aisle is not exactly how I pictured my big day.  Crutches simply do not go with my ensemble and I refuse to compromise on my choice of shoes!

After shedding more than a few tears and attending my very own pity party on the floor of stage left, I pulled my dusty old knee brace out of my dance bag and took to the stage.  I managed to perform the rest of the rehearsal and my two numbers in the recital the next day only feeling my knee buckle once (at the very end of my solo); however, I was disappointed that I could not dance at the level I wanted.  Sure, I’m nowhere near as good as I was ten years ago; nevertheless, I was hoping to look better than I had these past three years.  This was supposed to be my comeback!  I kept thinking back on my happiness at the studio two weeks ago, nothing short of sheer glee surged through my body when I took the dance floor.  For the first time in three years, I felt at home again; moving my body felt second nature.  Unfortunately, it was just a tease, a joy to be taken away entirely too quickly.

When I walked into Dr. Diana’s office this afternoon, I knew what his prognosis would be.  Despite any attempts on the part of my mother and Dan to convince me that I simply pulled a muscle, I could tell I had more serious damage.  With one hand on my thigh and the other on my calf, the doctor jiggled me knee and looked right into my eyes.  “It feels loose.”  Translated:  “Here we go again.”  I told him about my October nuptials; luckily, he said surgery could wait until after the wedding.

With surgery looming in mid-November, shortly after my return from honeymooning in Fiji, I’m choosing to remain positive (bar my minor break down immediately following the pop).  As my friend Stacey pointed out, this is fixable!  I do not have a major internal illness, or need any screws or plates put it.  Having been through this all before, I know what to expect.  Also, I lived on my previous torn ACL for over a year without knowing anything was wrong!  Once the initial swelling went down, I was able to go about my life without any indication that my knee was missing a crucial ligament.  I worked out, rode my bike around Brooklyn, wore high heels, and danced at weddings.  This time around, I have more motivation:  I am determined to look fantastic in my wedding dress, scuba dive on my honeymoon, walk down the aisle in a fabulous pair of heels, and, post-surgery, dance in Top Hat’s 25^th recital next June.  Sure, this injury is going to make accomplishing all these things slightly more complicated…but, I’ve never been one to do things the easy way!