1 Week Post-Surgery

     The swelling has significantly gone down in my leg and I'm feeling very little pain (except for the occasional throb in the bones right around my knee).  Today, I even felt well enough for a little Black Friday shopping.  
     While I was out, I rediscovered the struggle that is crutching around.  Just the short walk through the parking lot, from the car to the entrance of a store is exhausting.  I consider myself to be in pretty good shape, but after just a few minutes, my entire arms ache and I feel myself getting winded.  Since my immobilizer keeps my leg pretty straight, my right foot often gets in the way by almost hitting the ground.  Even standing still, I am extremely uncomfortable because I cannot but my right leg down.  
     Objects on the floor are another hazard.  Brooklynn tends to leave her toys on the floor, and even though I tried to negotiate around it, this afternoon, I put my crutch on the edge of the top of her Noah's Arc and slide, sharply putting my foot on the floor and putting pressure on my entire leg.  Even though I only had my foot down for a second, the pain was excruciating.  I immediately got off my feet and iced my knee.  However, I hope I did not cause any damage or undo anything the surgery just corrected.  
     Again, particularly in light of my moment of weight bearing, I cannot wait until my appointment with Dr. Diana on Tuesday.  I just want his assurance that everything is moving along well. 

5 Days Post Surgery

     Over the past two days, the pain in my knee has significantly lessened.  So much so, I've been able to pretty much phase out my pain killers, taking one last pill tonight (I have high hopes of drinking some beer at Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow).  However, I'm beginning to miss the drowsiness caused by the pain killers...since I spend all day laying around, I am not tired at the end of the night, and lye awake, staring at the ceiling, until past 2am.  
     I have continued to keep my leg slightly elevated and ice my knee (1/2 hour on, 1/2 hour off); but, for the most part, I am not babying my leg as much as I did last time.  If find myself pointing and flexing my toes (which activates my calf muscle) and tightening my thigh muscles often.  Luckily, I think that my muscles have not atrophied as much as last time; I feel like I do have some control over my leg (a week after my last surgery, I could not lift my leg on my own).  I even ventured out of the house for a little bit today (which left my completely exhausted when I got home).  
     Despite all my progress, my leg does still seem extremely swollen, particularly around my ankle.  Unfortunately, after voicing this concern out loud, my mother decided to attempt to shove my shoe onto my foot, to check if the swelling had gone down; the pain of her twisting my leg was excruciating.  
     Next Tuesday cannot come fast enough; I really cannot wait to get my bandage off and see what lies underneath.  The wrappings are starting to get really hard and my skin is getting very itchy...not to mention my fear of infection in the incision.  I'm getting really tired of lying around and cannot wait to start therapy and get my leg back.  

3 Days Post-Surgery

     The easy part is over...my surgery went very well on Friday.  I arrived at the surgical center a few minutes before 7am.  Once I signed in, they called me back almost immediately, and within fifteen minutes, I was going under anesthesia.  Next thing I knew, the nurse was waking me up and assuring me that, despite my father's request, they did not remove my "dancing gene."  Before releasing me, the nurse gave me some Dramamine through my IV tube to help settle my stomach; this, mixed with the anesthesia knocked me out and I slept the whole car ride home.  
     Most of Friday afternoon and evening I was pretty comfortable because I was still experiencing the numbness on the top of my leg from the surgery.  Unfortunately, when this wore off late in the evening, I had a constant, throbbing pain in my leg (particularly in the knee) for all of Friday night through Sunday evening.  The prescription pain killers helped a little, but not much.  And, to top it off, even when taken with Dramamine, they made me very queasy and I could not keep much food down.  All in all, between the pain,the nausea, and the literal pain in my butt because I can only sit in one position, my weekend was pretty uncomfortable.  Luckily, the combination of Oxycodone and Dramamine makes me extremely sleepy; so, I've spent most of the time dosing off.  
     Today, most of the pain is gone.  I feel pretty good while laying down, with my leg elevated; however, when I stand up on the crutches there is some aching directly on my knee.  Each time I get up, this lessens a bit.  I've started to phase out the pain killers, and hope to take my last one on Wednesday night (mostly because I plan on drinking some Harpoon Winter Warmer with Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday!)
     Speaking of getting up...I drink a lot of water, which means I use the bathroom a lot.  My right leg muscles (which I worked so hard to build this summer) have already started to atrophy, and my family have to help my get my leg in and out of bed.  They are already beginning to find my hourly bathroom breaks more than a bit annoying.  
     For the next week, all I can do is wait (and continue to change my ice pack, half hour on, half hour off).  I am really looking forward to seeing Dr. Diana next Tuesday and beginning physical therapy.  Even with the 3-4 months of therapy ahead of me, on this side of surgery, I can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel (be it a tiny pin-prick).  I just keep thinking of how great that first run will be in March and how much I want to start the body revolution program again.  

'Twas the Night Before Surgery

     I've been a bit busy these past months...what with getting married and all.  Despite my best intentions, I have yet to get really consistent with blogging.  Since I'll be spending a the next few weeks in bed, with a lot of time on my hand, I am going to wholeheartedly renew my blogging efforts.  

     I spent all summer and early fall looking forward to my wedding, that I did not have much time to stress and worry about my ACL surgery.  But, the past 13 days since we returned from Fiji have completely flown.  And, tomorrow is the big day.  My part is easy; I just have to show up and go under anesthesia.  Yet, I am not looking forward to loosing use of my leg for a few months.  I'm really going to miss being able to walk, dance, and workout. All day, I made an effort to really appreciate walking, having full mobility, and (especially) carrying Brooklynn around.  I will be glad when it is all over and I have two good knees.  In the meantime, at least my inability to walk will give me plenty of time to blog.  

Kevin Arnold & Winnie Cooper

Just a little gem of adorableness from the Fourth of July picnic! 

"Maher's Don't Quit"

After my workout last night, my knee was a little sore.  I iced it before going to sleep and decided to heat it before future workouts.  I felt a little apprehensive about today's workout, but I pushed through.  With a little help from my new personal trainer and our new mantra, "Maher's don't quit," it went great!  

My personal trainer.

First Workout Post-Tear

Today I went for my MRI.  I was surprised to go in the full body machine; last time, I only had to put my leg in a tube.  All in all, it went well.  The clanking and buzzing was slightly obnoxious (of course the music that was supposed to be playing in my headphones did not work) and both my legs fell asleep, but I managed to keep still.  Next Thursday, I will follow up with Dr. Diana to get the results.  A small glimmer of hope still exists that this may not be my ACL, but I do not want allow myself high expectations that will only be disappointed. 

When I got back to my parents’ house, I embarked on my first workout post-tear.  Back in February, I began the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution, a 90-day workout program similar to P90X (though slightly less intense).  I did very well for the first six weeks, not missing a single workout; however, the second week of April, I derailed due to a combination of scuba lessons and my obsession with re-reading the A Song of Ice and Fire series (the onset of season 2 on HBO created far too much temptation).  Throughout May and the beginning of June, I exercised only sporadically, all the while with visions of my wedding dress and the October 20^th calendar box looming closer and closer in the back of my head.  Five days before my injury, I fully recommitted to the Body Revolution 90 day program, only to feel completely thrown off course yet again. 

After giving my knee a full week to rest and finding a pretty awesome OTC hinged brace, I began the program again.  It went really well!  I know my limitations; if my knee buckles, I set myself back another week.  I kept a soft bend in my knee at all times, put a major emphasis on supporting my legs from the hips (which have lost a ton of flexibility in recent years), and avoided turning out.  It was a really encouraging start!  I am going to take it one workout at a time and not push myself to the extreme.  Moreover, in order to make up for the physical limitations in my exercise regime, I am forced to put a greater emphasis on nutrition.  I need to keep focusing on the goal in sight…my wedding is just shy of 16 weeks away.  And, as an added bonus, if all goes as planned, I complete the last workout in the 90-day program on the day of my Bachelorette Party!

Engagement Photos

On June 3rd, Dan and I went to the Brooklyn Brewery for our Engagement Photo shoot with our spectacular photographer, Katie Osgood (check out her site: http://katieosgood.com/blog/).  Despite Dan's initial hesitations (which were quickly dismissed after a few beers), we had a really great time.  Our pictures arrived in the mail yesterday...here are a few of our favorites!

Seeing these pictures has us even more excited about our wedding!  We can't wait for October 20th to get here, at the same time, we are trying to savor every moment leading up to the day.  

Ice Pack Burn

This is why you never leave an ice pack directly on your skin for more than half and hour...

Now, not only do I have an internal injury, but my skin looks disgusting to match!

Déjà vu

     Today, for the second time in two years, I received devastating news from my orthopedic doctor:  I tore my ACL.  No, not the left knee, the one I had reconstructive surgery on two September’s ago, the “other knee.”  Sure, the tear has yet to be confirmed by MRI; all the same, deep down, I know it is torn.  I knew the moment it happened. 

Rewind to last Saturday…shortly after taking the stage to dance in my studio’s dress rehearsal (my 25^th dress rehearsal, to be exact), I did an inside fan-kick on my left leg and felt the “pop” in my right knee.  The pop was accompanied by a shooting pain, similar to the sensation of hitting a funny bone.  After uttering a few choice expletives, I walked off-stage and began to melt down.  I had just been through surgery and recovery on the other leg; I thought I was all fixed!  It felt so great, after three years, to be able to dance uninhibited by my knee injury; now, I would have to go through it all again.  Not to mention my upcoming wedding…not only have I been trying to get in shape, but hobbling down the aisle is not exactly how I pictured my big day.  Crutches simply do not go with my ensemble and I refuse to compromise on my choice of shoes!

After shedding more than a few tears and attending my very own pity party on the floor of stage left, I pulled my dusty old knee brace out of my dance bag and took to the stage.  I managed to perform the rest of the rehearsal and my two numbers in the recital the next day only feeling my knee buckle once (at the very end of my solo); however, I was disappointed that I could not dance at the level I wanted.  Sure, I’m nowhere near as good as I was ten years ago; nevertheless, I was hoping to look better than I had these past three years.  This was supposed to be my comeback!  I kept thinking back on my happiness at the studio two weeks ago, nothing short of sheer glee surged through my body when I took the dance floor.  For the first time in three years, I felt at home again; moving my body felt second nature.  Unfortunately, it was just a tease, a joy to be taken away entirely too quickly.

When I walked into Dr. Diana’s office this afternoon, I knew what his prognosis would be.  Despite any attempts on the part of my mother and Dan to convince me that I simply pulled a muscle, I could tell I had more serious damage.  With one hand on my thigh and the other on my calf, the doctor jiggled me knee and looked right into my eyes.  “It feels loose.”  Translated:  “Here we go again.”  I told him about my October nuptials; luckily, he said surgery could wait until after the wedding.

With surgery looming in mid-November, shortly after my return from honeymooning in Fiji, I’m choosing to remain positive (bar my minor break down immediately following the pop).  As my friend Stacey pointed out, this is fixable!  I do not have a major internal illness, or need any screws or plates put it.  Having been through this all before, I know what to expect.  Also, I lived on my previous torn ACL for over a year without knowing anything was wrong!  Once the initial swelling went down, I was able to go about my life without any indication that my knee was missing a crucial ligament.  I worked out, rode my bike around Brooklyn, wore high heels, and danced at weddings.  This time around, I have more motivation:  I am determined to look fantastic in my wedding dress, scuba dive on my honeymoon, walk down the aisle in a fabulous pair of heels, and, post-surgery, dance in Top Hat’s 25^th recital next June.  Sure, this injury is going to make accomplishing all these things slightly more complicated…but, I’ve never been one to do things the easy way!