Without Further Ado...

"I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear." 

- Joan Didion, "Why I Write."

     I've been toying with writing a blog for some time now; a little over two years.  Since I was a child, I have always considered myself "a writer."  I find something magical in the act putting my thoughts to paper; there is a certain exhilaration in hearing the scratching of a pencil, or the clicking of the computer keys when the words simply flow. Since I finished school, the necessity of writing ceased. Sure, I was thrilled when I turned in my last grad school paper; I relished in thoughts of not having deadlines to produce 30 page documents on obscure poems by even more obscure authors.  However, over time I began to feel a void and truly miss the act of writing.  Blogging seemed like the logical 21st century remedy.   
     Invigorated by the prospect of starting a blog, I sat down to begin writing, when an all too familiar terror struck.  The anxiety that forms in the pit of my stomach when I stare at a blank computer screen, hoping for a magical burst of genius.  I had no idea what I wanted to write about.  Now, anybody who knows me, knows I always have a lot to say.  But, when exposing myself, stark naked, to the entire blogoshpere, I hoped to write about something good, something interesting enough that other people would actually want to read, rather than my normal every day banters (let's face it, most people don't even want to listen to my ramblings, let alone read them). I wanted my blog to have some kind a cohesion, a theme to tie everything together; something people might actually google.  I toyed with a few ideas; maybe I could blog about books, or the theatre, or my never-ending job search.  However, I simply could not settle on one topic. 
     For two years, I played around with different concepts.  I even went as  far to set up the page for my blog, which sat empty for many months.  Often, I would even compose posts in my head. However, like most great inspiration, these fits of eloquence often happen when I am lying in bed or taking a shower; nothing made it onto paper.  And still, I could not decide what I wanted this all to be about.  I felt paralyzed by the  inability to choose a central concept.
     With the impending release Joan Didion's new book, I have been reading some of her older works. While reading "Why I Write," my blog inspiration finally struck.  I realized, much like Didion, I have never really been one to know what I am writing about from the outset.  I never start at the beginning, writing the first sentence, and move steadily through to the end.  I start in the middle, and, by the time I get to the end, I know what the hell I have been writing about the whole.  Then, in academic settings,I go back and write the beginning.  So, with this mentality in mind, I am just going to write...banter, if you will. I am going to take a Sienfeld-esque approach and write about "nothing." Maybe, over time, a theme will develop; maybe not.  I am going to ignore the compulsive impulses towards perfection, simply dive right in and share my random thoughts with whomever wants to read them. Hopefully, I will learn something about myself along the way, and entertain anyone who comes along for the ride.  
     Happy Reading!